Quotes from the Movie American Wedding

You hooked up with one other girl for what, ten seconds and you passed up sex with Nadia, f*^"ing stupid. You're like a blind man picking out his favorite porno.

Steve Stifler

It's on like Donkey Kong, biotch.

Steve Stifler

My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls.

Steve Stifler

Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand? Bang-cock.

Steve Stifler

Well polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake.

Steve Stifler

If you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to.

Steve Stifler

Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. It's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time.

Michelle Flaherty

Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls.

Michelle Flaherty

Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is something you do. It's a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, you've given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you.

Michelle Flaherty

Love life, get paid, then get laid. That is the basic philosophy of... The Finch-meister!

Paul Finch

Son, step away from the animal...

Jim's Dad